Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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