Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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