just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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