He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
