my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
