i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Randomize
