This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
