i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
