youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
