You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
