Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I cannot find my penis.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize