He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
