Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
MIDGETS
????
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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