he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
