I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
