i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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