if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
