Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
