Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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