You're so nebulous sometimes
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i've created a new STD.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
