Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
