FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
