One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
