i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
