We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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