Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
