At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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