i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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