Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
