also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we should paint friendship bongs
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
