idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
