Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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