That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
