so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
don't judge my taste in strippers
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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