You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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