Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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