What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
