why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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