escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
