the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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