I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
