and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
