wakey wakey hands off snakey
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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