I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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