Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
