I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We left the knife in your bed.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
