And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Never joke about your clitoris.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
