now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
