areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i dont even know how to be here
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
