5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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