Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
