Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
