Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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