this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
