Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
